Looking back into the past and also into the future

 I’ve been interested in the human psyche since I was a child. I always liked books, writings, and questionnaires about this topic.

In my teenage years, I looked for the roots of my way of thinking, the whys of my behaviour, my inner motivations of my own soul. God provided me with an opportunity from time to time to do that again. As a believer, I can only serve others well as a counsellor if I have a healthy and real self-image, and if I know my competencies and am willing to develop them.

In my current stage of life, I try to do well in several areas which are important to me. In my opinion, my first and foremost task is to support my husband, since he has an important calling. My next task is to be a good mother to our young son, whom we need to educate in a conscientious way and to be a sufficient and supportive mother to our daughters ready to leave the nest. Based on God’s calling, it is our duty to be the pastor of a community, too. It is also important for me to be a loving and responsible counsellor of the people whom God has entrusted on us. As a believing teacher, it is my duty to teach my students and feed both their minds and souls. Supporting them requires a lot of time and energy.

When looking back on my childhood, I agree with the things I have learned during the Counselling course. I have learned that all people are individuals with a unique opinion and way of thinking which have been shaped by their childhood, family background and relationships, their social status and being accepted. The experiences, both positive and negative, we have gone through have an impact on us and create in us a totally unique way of thinking. It was also important for me to reveal my own patterns of thinking. After having discerned them I was able to identify my real motives with God’s help through His Words.

I am very thankful to the Lord for many things! I can see His work of art as He has knitted together the cords of my life. He harmoniously put the events in line and sometimes he allows me to understand why things have happened the way they did.

He has taught me to be brave, which can lead me through many things even if I face difficulties and fears. Psalm 56:11 is a verse that always encourages me. “In God I trust and am not afraid. What can man do to me?”

When I was still young, God gave me a precious gift in my husband. He is both my soul mate and best friend. He appreciates me for who I am and I don’t ever feel that I am not good enough for him. My self-esteem improved due to the healing effect of my husband’s accepting love. Of course, the current state of our marriage is due to the disciplining work of the Lord, who helped me to realize my negative thoughts, such as “what will the others say”, and “I know it better” He helped me realize the deficiency of my love.

Thanks to God, six years ago I was able attend a weekend course on how to settle my life. A lot of things were revealed to me about all the burdens I had been carrying from my past and my lack of forgiveness. In my opinion, sometimes we need to do a major cleaning in our souls, because all the dirt that has gathered in the corners can contaminate our whole life! That’s why this Counselling course was important for me. It has made me realize again that we can only serve God well, when we have a healthy self-image, a healthy image of others, and a right image of God. I know that I don’t have to live up to anyone’s expectations because God accepts me the way I am and can use me wherever He wants. e can use me wherever He wants Yet, this way of false thinking returns from the past to tempt me. Sometimes it’s difficult to differentiate between the conscientious serving and the urge to please others. He is also teaching me to use His gift of empathy and compassion until my soul can react in a healthy way. I can’t solve everyone’s problems nor can I make decisions for others.

I have realized how important it is, not just for me, but for those living around me to spend enough time on myself to remain healthy. Being rested makes me able to think and react well.

I agree with Paul and would like to take this catch phrase to heaven with me “I have fought the good fight,I have finished the race,I have kept the faith.Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness,which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day…” (2 Timothy 4:7-8, NIV)

Written by Mrs Gulyás-Viszokai Anita, who attended our regional Counselling course of 2015/16 in Pécs, Hungary.

Pécs, 20th July, 2016.