A change in the way of thinking during a Counselling course

Written by Mrs. Bónya-Szebegyinszki Janka, in the summer of 2015

Between September 2014 and May 2015 I participated in a course with my husband, joyfully and with great excitement. We had a desire to get to know ourselves, each other and our environment better and deeper. We were hoping to acquire new methods such as the foundations of supporting conversation, which will enhance our communication with God, each other and towards our counselees.

What did the Counselling course led by Ms Márti Reimer give us?

Beyond my expectations I had received lifelong lessons! Besides the course having given us the practical foundations of Counselling, it had also resulted in a CHANGE IN MY WAY OF THINKING which made me see the possibility of change.

I was (sometimes still am ) also prone to explain it to myself and others why I did or didn’t do or say certain things or remained silent. If I could see the negative consequences of my actions or words, then immediately I started to make excuses and defend myself. I always had an answer: “The reason why I did this or said that is because s/he did that! Of course I reacted this way!...” What’s more I always had someone who stood by me because they considered my reasoning logical and acceptable.

During this course I had to realize that I cannot always blame others – the society, the circumstances, family members, friends – nor can I hide behind ready-made catch phrases/platitudes such as “I’m just like this and that’s it!” I had to realize that the key to change is ME!

I could get to know God and myself better as well as the motivations and connections behind my deeds thus today I have instruments required for the change. Because indeed we have an opportunity to change! We are on the path of sanctification so we can change in our spirit, soul and emotions.

Our understanding attitude to the problems of others and knowing both God and ourselves better and deeper can help make out the intricate network of human relationships. During this 5X4 day-course I got closer to God, got to know myself better and I had to realize that the quality of each relationship depends on how much I’m willing to change.

It is refreshing and it also brings relief and peace to see things from a new perspective.

 One of many things, to be more factual

  • The more work and tasks I undertake the more useful I’ll be. I can’t rest.
  • A truth I fight with: My awareness of being effective does not depend on “I work until I drop dead” attitude. I should dare to rest. Even Jesus moved away from the people to rest.
  • Practical solution I have found and I’m working on: I shouldn’t want to do everything by myself and right away. I should let others make a mistake, too. Let the others (my husband, family members, colleagues at work, later my daughter) share the workload. If I rest I’ll recuperate and get enough strength for my real tasks. This is a useful time, too! 2 exact steps for the near future: delegation of the tasks i.e. when shopping, I should accept the helpful hand of men when I put away things; resting: e.g. a daily 30-minute spent on reading, prayer etc.

I have realized many more things and it was great to reach a point where I can see that I can think in a different way than in the past. All of this is only possible under the guidance of God, of course. It was encouraging to face the statement of Jesus “I am the TRUTH!”

Through Biblical stories and the Word of God I could see and learn to “search the truth” and change accordingly.

Let me sum it up in one Scripture I was encouraged by and would like to encourage everyone: “be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Rom. 12:2.

Believe me, it’s worth it!