I’m Harsányiné Városi Ildikó and have been working for Eleos for two years where I lead group dynamics courses, group supervision, counselling and self-awareness discussions with joy and enthusiasm.
For a long time I considered myself a Mum of several kids as my days were filled with the rearing of our four boys and a foster teenage boy. I was happy and motivated in this role, I did find my identity in it. But we all know, whether we like it or not, the kids grow up and motherhood requires less and less of us. This emptiness, this lack of purpose drove me to find other roles for myself. I grew up as the first child of a preacher’s family in the countryside with all of its advantages and difficulties. I had it in my genes to live for others. As a people pleaser I learnt respect, obedience and serving in the church early on. As it was a small church every able-bodied person was required to serve the Lord. That’s how I learnt that I’m pretty good with children so I led children’s Bible classes as a teenager and I enjoyed it. I’ve been doing it ever since, taking part in teaching Bible classes in the church.
It became evident in my childhood that I have a merciful heart. Honestly, I considered it a weakness for a long time. I was found automatically by people and I helped them instinctively in their physical and psychological needs. Many times it burdened me but I thought that that’s the way it is with these things and everybody experiences it. When I heard about the Eleos counselling course I thought that it would be great to consolidate my experience I had gathered so far in this area so I applied. My confidence evaporated pretty quickly because I could see my scars I had tried to cover up with different thoughts, I recognised my faults and I could find out that there were situations where my instincts deceived me in how I tried to help others. On the other hand I got new tools at my disposal helping me not to take the responsibility for others., not to take everyone’s burdens as if they were mine because then I would stagger under such burden and this way I would become unable to help. The most import thing of all is that I shouldn’t become a savior, jut be an asset in God’s hand that He could use. Ever since then I’ve been learning how to serve the Lord freely.
After the course I wanted to learn some more in this field, so I applied for the mental health training at the Semmelweis University. These two years have been a real growth in my self-awareness and in becoming a helper.
As a mental health expert I wish that we would all know the freedom arising from God’s love. I could utilise counselling in teaching Bible classes and also in my volunteer service I do in juvenile delinquency institutes and towards young people recovering from drug addiction. This tough field is teaching me to see how essential it is to be present in these people’s life, not to want to change others but be an authentic helper as it is our inequities that can bring us closer. I don’t want to become a perfect Christian any more, rather a broken healer as Jesus showed that in His life and set us an example in that, too. My scars can become treasures because they are the proof of healing.